INTRODUCTION:
A Little Background Information on Sherry
Intuitive or psychic "abilities"
run in my family. Just about everyone, on both my mother's and father's side of
the family, have a strong
"sixth sense" of some sort.
Most of my relatives have had consistent, paranormal experiences, and a kind of
intuition that often defies logic.
Some family members have seen and spoken to
"Beings" or loved ones after they passed. Some are healers. Others are preachers,
in a number of denominations and paths. Some do different types of readings
and some
have what seem to be past life memories. A few, like my
father, are lucid dreamers - adept in using their dreams to find answers to puzzling
questions, practical insights - or for other, more esoteric
and spiritual purposes.
Etcetera etcetera... My family has all kinds of these abilities. A few of them
have spent their lives in service to others, trying their best to use their
gifts only out of love. Most of them have passed now.
Other relatives mainly used their abilities for selfish purposes, which never
ended well, no matter what they tell people.
Childhood was not an easy experience, at all, for a variety of reasons. As I got
older, I became aware that I was different and I
struggled to accept
myself and find my place in the world. Eventually, in my late teens, I analyzed and criticized myself into
the office of a psychiatrist, having a
literal nervous breakdown. That sounds kind of funny now, but it wasn't.
Not one bit...
As a young child, I
didn’t know that there was anything different about me. However,
as I got
older, I realized that most of the people around me, especially my peers, really didn’t have the same
experience of the world that I had. I started to feel isolated, and grew afraid. I couldn't accept myself
and spent a good part of my
older childhood, especially my
adolescence, in fear of being found out by people outside the family. Within my
family, it was already becoming routine to try to get me to "find out stuff" for
them. I did what I was told to do, mainly because I was punished if I refused,
but I also found out that people get nasty when you don't tell them what they
want to hear and I wasn't very good at that. (That still holds true...)
I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to focus on science and go to medical school.
How could I do that if I was so weird? I became almost disgusted with myself; I couldn't seem to 'get a hold of myself' and stop seeing things that no one
else did; I couldn't always stay in my body. It was worse at night, when I was alone and couldn't stop
the intense dreams, or things from "visiting me."
I was
sure I was delusional -- probably "crazy" (whatever that meant)
and I'd never amount to anything. I learned
early that it was hard for most people to 'read' me,
and I thought that was great - I was able to hide a lot of my fears. I paid a
price for that, however, and I was slowly
falling apart, eaten up with anxiety about what was wrong with me.
I think that on the surface I was a
fairly normal teenager.
I was a good student: a member of the National Honor Society, in my Junior year
of High School and was even a one of the school mascot/cheerleaders. I was very active in
Rainbow Girls and loved doing community service. But I was also
terrified every day and every night that I was losing my mind.
I should add
that not everything was scary or awful. A lot of it was very beautiful and
instructive.
My dreams were filled with
the sights and sounds of other times and places -- and with a different kind of
school. I spent what seemed like many hours of my life in dream classrooms,
seeing and learning things that were hard to share with the people I knew in my
waking life. When I was 'awake' I saw people that others couldn't see.
I
still find it interesting and strange that most people can't see what I do, and
yet they will often react (unconsciously) to what
the 'ghosts' or Angels are saying to them, or react to how the energy moves
around them.
No matter how interesting some of
my experiences were, I shoved every experience into the same pile
and called it 'bad.' From the time that I started to realize how different
my perception of the world was, my desire to be "like everyone else" steadily
grew.
My Dad, and a few perceptive adults tried to talk to me, but it's difficult
for anyone to try and explain the
"unexplainable" and I wasn't sure enough of myself to know what I say.
Our language has few words to express what I experienced - and I was just
too afraid of what would happen to me, if I got into much detail. I told Dad
about my dreams and my Guide and some things, but I always held things back. It
seemed certain that I was losing my mind and I was afraid that I would end up in
a mental hospital.
At the age of eighteen, after a semester and
a half of college, as a psych major, I went to see a psychiatrist.
Naturally, I started out intending to major in Psychology because I was going to fix myself. I
soon realized that I needed an expert. I was having a breakdown.
The first day I saw the Doctor, I desperately told him, "I hear
voices, I see things that others don't seem to, and I float out of my body.
Give me something to 'fix me' so that this doesn't happen anymore."
I begged him to try anything - drugs, even shock treatments, if that would help. Anything, to stop these
experiences. I was so convinced that I must be psychotic
that when, after extensive testing, the Doctor told me
that I was not, I got angry with him and them got scared.
I thought that I had somehow drawn
him into the psychosis with me.
I did not believe in "ESP" type things ;
I discounted them all as fantasy, delusions or wishful thinking. I didn't
want to be crazy like my family.
It took me time before I believed that what he was telling me might be possible.
This doctor had a
personal interest in psychic phenomena and was knowledgeable about some of the
things I told him. He introduced me to other physicians and to grad
students who had experience with people who had paranormal experiences. He said
that he was interested in finding people who had been committed by family
members who found them embarrassing (common in those days) and those who had
been misdiagnosed as schizophrenic or otherwise mentally ill, when they were
actually experiencing some kind of psychic phenomena. I was on board with that.
He was not as altruistic as he pretended to be, however. He was fascinated by
the psychic stuff, and he used me in a variety of ways that were no doubt
grounds for malpractice.
However, I have to count myself 'lucky' since his unusual interest in me was the
main reason that I didn't get put away in a mental hospital. My father was very
angry that I had gone to a 'shrink' and talked about family secrets. Angry
enough to try to have me committed, as I had always feared. Yes, it damaged my
relationship with my Dad and it took years to mend it.
The doctor put a stop to the legal proceedings, but nothing else stopped.
The more I used my abilities, the stronger they became. I went to the
Doctor to stop what was from happening... but, it 'got worse.'
I have met many people "like me" over the years, that were not as
lucky as I was in the end. I was a kid and when I look back on it
now, and I can see that I handed my power over to him and did what he told me to
do because I was so scared. I started to trust him a
little, and he paid me a lot of positive attention and showed me that I had quite
a talent for "intuitive knowing." I ended up working for him for several years as a biofeedback technician and
also as an "in-office psychic." This caused some raised eyebrows with
his colleagues, but he didn't care. He was interested in results and attention
from "the right people."
It was not a healthy or positive
experience. In some ways, it may have hurt my more than
helped me, but, things eventually worked out.
It took another Doctor, who was not fascinated with psychic phenomena, to really help me to accept that these things are "normal" for me and nothing to be afraid of. He taught me to look past the blanket statement that I made about my life: "different is bad."
During the last forty plus years, I have spent
countless hours working on gaining clarity. Self-discipline could not stop the
experiences from happening, as I had originally hoped, but it has helped me in
so many other ways, including in the business world. I have kept a journal
for many, many years, and through this journal, I came to see that the
information that I receive is solid, practical and positive. I
learned the importance of self-mastery, rather than the mastery of others.
My life hasn't been easy, but then, nothing
worthwhile is.
Back then I didn't know anyone else who talked to
Beings, saw auras, dreamed lucidly, etc. The few people I met who did
either had as hard a time talking about it as I did, or were famous
psychics.
I did not want to be a famous psychic.
I did
want to be able to talk about my life with people who mattered to me. It
took me many, many years to be able to do this, but it was, as my Dad
says, "worth every turn of the wheel to get here!"
Yes, there are still a few people who think I am
evil, crazy, delusional, etc. Oddly enough, they are all people who don't
know me, personally. It's so easy to point the finger at
someone you don't know. Gossip is a hobby for some people.
I happen to think that gossiping is an act of evil, whether you listen to
it, or spread it. I grew up seeing the cruelties that ignorant
people could inflict on people who are "different."
I am not out to argue or change anyone's mind
about God or reality. Everyone has their own idea of what or who God
is. It is my belief that we don't have to take everything spiritual or
religious "on faith." If you ask for assistance, with
sincerity, and then, pay close attention for the next few hours, days,
weeks, etc., you will receive an answer. It probably won't be what
you expected or maybe even wanted, but you will get an answer. I speak in these
pages only about things in my personal experience, as that is all that I really
can speak about. I urge you to try some of the spiritual exercises for
yourself, here or on other web sites, books, or where ever you might find
them. Find our for yourself, through your own experiences, that there is
more to your existence than what you can touch with your hands or measure, or
count. You can't see, touch or count love, but it exists. It
doesn't matter one bit what I can do, it only matters what you can do.
How I came to do workshops and write about my
experiences is another story. <G>
Today, I know lots of people
who are able to communicate with their Guardian Angels, Guides and Masters and
others who see auras and ghosts: I know them mostly thanks to the workshops I
facilitate.
It's great!
I guess we are all crazy in the
same way!
I do my best
to follow a path of love, not of power. The path of power is a dead
end. The path of love has no end.
A lot of people tell me
that they think it is "cool" to be psychic and wish they were able to
see and hear the things that I do.
I am not sure that they would like
getting that wish. But, then again, maybe they would have an easier time with it
than I did.
What I do know is that being clairvoyant and/ or psychic is not being spiritually "enlightened."
It's also not necessarily an indication of a loving nature.
One can easily be psychic and not
be kind or have compassion for others.
I am not personally interested in
developing more psychic powers. I have more than enough to cope with
now. I AM interested in increasing my ability to give and receive love
more fully.
The purely psychic planes are not a very high vibration - they are barely above
the physical plane. The psychic realms soon end
- but the "God planes" continue. At that frequency, psychic powers are
irrelevant, because only love exists.
A huge part of my life
lesson has been learning more about balance and self-responsibility. This
doesn't sound very exciting, does it? At first glance, this process
may seem slower one than you'd hoped it to be.
However, because
this process is steady, and it doesn't shock a person, one
can achieve greater spiritual growth, over a shorter period of time, than might
otherwise be done. It does includes
exciting times of discovery and explosive growth. And drama...
I have learned about balance only by going out of balance, over and over again.
Eventually, I learned that I didn't like it "way over there" and my
behaviors modified.
I have had more "excitement" and intensity
in my life, than any dozen people I know. My life is never boring or uneventful.
I wouldn't mind a few years of uneventful.
My path includes the understanding that life
goes in cycles and that only change is constant. It's only with change do you experience growth.
Learning to let go of expectations and make the most of the things that life
brings your way is something that most people would agree sounds like a useful
skill.
Mine is also a path of
self-responsibility, which has never
been a popular concept...
Taking the steps which
lead to self-responsibility leads to spiritual freedom.
We get the exact
amount of spiritual freedom that we allow the people in our lives. The least
amount...
Who is it in your life that you feel the need to control?
Even if you do real well in the control area with most people, you still only get the
amount of freedom that you give to that person who irritates the heck out of you.
That doesn't mean that you
should let someone else control you either. This path is about balance and
self-responsibility - and supporting those qualities in others. It's not about being
a victim - or a victimizer. It is about having compassionate detachment for
all beings.
Everyone has their unresolved issues; behaviors they are compelled to act out in some way.
If there are people who
feel compelled to act theirs out in your life, and if you don't want them to
- If it is destructive to your life -- grant them the freedom to
act it out somewhere else.