I guess you could say that
run in my family. Just about everyone, on both my mothers and fathers side of
the family, have a fairly strong
"sixth sense" of some sort.
Most of my relatives have had consistent, paranormal experiences, and a kind of
intuition that often defies logic.
As a young child, I
didnít know that there was anything different about me. However,
as I got
older, I realized that most of the people around me, especially my peers, really didnít have the same
experience of the world that I had. I started to feel isolated, and grew afraid. Eventually, I became almost disgusted with myself,
as couldn't seem to 'get a hold of myself' and stop seeing things that no one
else did. I was
sure I was delusional -- probably "crazy." (Whatever THAT meant!)
I think that on the surface I was a fairly normal teenager. I learned that it was hard for most people to 'read' me, and so I was able to hide a lot of my fears. Inside, however, I was slowly falling apart; eaten up with anxiety about what was happening to me. I was a good student: a member of the National Honor Society, in my Junior year of High School and was even a cheerleader. I was very active in the Rainbow Girls and loved doing community service. But I was also terrified every day and every night that I was losing my mind.
My dreams were filled with the sights and sounds of other times and places -- and with a different kind of school. I spent what seemed like many hours of my life in dream classrooms, seeing and learning things that were hard to share with the people I knew in my waking life. When I was 'awake' I saw people that others couldn't see. I still find it interesting that people can't see what I do, but they will often react (unconsciously) to what I hear the 'ghosts' saying to them or to how the energy moves them.
I was afraid of disappointing (and scaring) my parents and teachers by telling them what was going on, so I mostly didn't, unless it got too be too disturbing.
My Dad, and a few perceptive adults tried to talk to me, At that point, though, I'd realized how difficult is is to try and explain the unexplainable. After awhile, I basically quit trying. I wasn't sure enough of myself to know what I say. Our language has few words to express what I experienced -- and I was just too afraid of what would happen to me, if I got into much detail. It seemed certain that I was losing my mind and I was afraid that I would end up in a mental hospital.
At the age of eighteen, after a semester and a half of college, as a psych major, I went to see a psychiatrist. (Naturally I majored in Psychology, I was going to fix myself... until I realized that I needed an expert!) I was on the verge of a breakdown, and the first day I saw the Doctor, I desperately told him, "I hear voices, I see things that others don't seem to, and I float out of my body. Give me something to 'fix me' so that this doesn't happen anymore." I begged him to try anything - drugs, even shock treatments, if that would help. Anything, to stop these experiences.
I was so convinced that I must be psychotic that when, after extensive testing, the Doctor told me that I was not, it was hard for me to believe. I thought that I had somehow drawn him into the psychosis with me. It took some time, and some experiments, before I believed that what he was telling me might be possible. I didn't believe in "ESP" type things ; I discounted them all as fantasy, delusions or wishful thinking. He had a personal interest in psychic phenomena, and people that were misdiagnosed as schizophrenic, when they were actually experiencing some kind of psychic phenomena. He was knowledgeable about some of the things I told him and later demonstrated. I believe that his unusual interests are the main reason that I didn't get put away in a mental hospital. I have met many people "like me" over the years, that were not as lucky.
Over a period of several years, I started to trust him a
little, and he began to help me try to accept myself. He showed me that I had quite
a talent for "intuitive knowing." I ended up working for him for several years as a biofeedback technician and
also as an "in-office psychic". This caused some raised eyebrows with
his colleagues, but he didn't care. He was interested in results, not what
people thought of him.
It took another Doctor, who was not fascinated with psychic phenomena, to really help me to accept that these things are "normal" for me and nothing to be afraid of. He taught me to look past the blanket statement that I made about my life: "different is bad."
During the last thirty years, I have spent countless hours working on gaining clarity. Self-discipline could not stop the experiences from happening, as I had originally hoped, but it has helped me in so many other ways, including in the business world. I have kept a journal for many, many years, and through this journal, I came to see that the information that I receive is solid, practical and positive. I learned self-mastery, rather than the mastery of others. It hasnít been easy, but then, nothing worthwhile in life is.
Back then I didn't know anyone else who talked to
Beings, saw auras, dreamed lucidly, etc. The few people I met who did
either had as hard a time talking about it as I did, or were pretty famous
Yes, there are still a few people who think I am
evil, crazy, delusional, etc. Oddly enough, they are all people who don't
know me, personally. It's so easy to point the finger at
someone you don't know. Gossip is a hobby for some people.
I happen to think that gossiping is an act of evil, whether you listen to
it, or spread it. I grew up seeing the cruelties that ignorant
people could inflict on people who are "different."
Let me paraphrase a conversation that I had about this,
with my friend Joe, (my name for my Guardian angel):
Well, that's Joe for you. He was right, as
usual. A source of great comfort and balance.
I am not out to argue or change anyone's mind about God or reality. Everyone has their own idea of what or who God is. It is my belief that we don't have to take everything spiritual or religious "on faith." If you ask for assistance, with sincerity, and then, pay close attention for the next few hours, days, weeks, etc., you will receive an answer. It probably won't be what you expected or maybe even wanted, but you will get an answer. I speak in these pages only about things in my personal experience, as that is all that I really can speak about. I urge you to try some of the spiritual exercises for yourself, here or on other web sites, books, or where ever you might find them. Find our for yourself, through your own experiences, that there is more to your existence than what you can touch with your hands or measure, or count. You can't see, touch or count love, but it exists. It doesn't matter one bit what I can do, it only matters what you can do.
How I came to do workshops and write about my
experiences is another story. <G>
I do my best
to follow a path of love, not of power. The path of power is a dead
end. The path of love has no end.
Part of my life
lesson has been learning more about balance and self-responsibility. This
doesn't sound very exciting, does it? At first glance, this process
may seem slower one than you'd hoped it to be.
Angels are big news lately. Theyíve even been on the cover of Time magazine and are starring in TV programs and specials. It is fascinating to me that so much of the same information has been shared by Angels and Masters with people all over the world, at about the same time, with great success. In ages past, much of this information was reserved for people who spent their lives preparing to make use of it. Times have changed. Most of us no longer live in a society where we have the option of spending most of the hours of each day in meditation, contemplation or inactivity. We have to adapt to the changes in this world.
Some techniques given to the public by the Masters and Angels, in recent times, take these social changes into consideration. This kind of work is such that any person can find the time to do the spiritual exercises contained in this workshop, if they want to. The information is available to every person who is interested. No person will be turned away. It need only be asked for.
People often ask me if the information can be
misused by unethical persons.
I hope you find something useful on this web site. If you just give these ideas -- and the angels -- a chance, I believe that your life will change for the better! Enjoy!